Finding your beauty from within:

This is me:

I'm not perfect: I wear glasses/contacts because I have horrible eye sight, I wear my hair up a lot because I hate dealing with how thick it is in the mornings, one of my eyes is slightly bigger than the other, I don't have a lot of money to spend on the latest fashion, I'm always dying my hair because I can't just be happy with the color that it is, and I don't think that I'll ever be happy at my weight, regardless of how much I weigh.

I've had to learn over the past few years of my life, especially as I come into an age where I really start to develop myself as a person and learn more about who I am, that I will never be truly happy with myself until I just let my insecurities go. Of course every now and then it's okay to feel down on yourself for something, but if you can't see yourself for who you are: a beautiful, strong, individual, then it's going to be hard later on in your life to see what everyone else sees in you. I have such a hard time accepting compliments from people, but I've had to realize that it's okay to say "thanks" when they say you look pretty, or they like your outfit, or whatever! It's okay to be happy with yourself. IF you can't feel confidence in yourself then it's going to be hard for others to see that in you either.

I used to be extremely self conscious about my weight, my hair, the way my face looked... of course I still worry about those things, but on a much smaller scale now. I know I've got curves. I'm not stick thin and I don't weigh 100 pounds. But I'm so much happier with myself now that I've learned to love me for ME, and not some ideal figure who I will probably never look like. I feel like since I've developed a much stronger sense of "self" over the past year especially, that other people have begun to notice it as well. And they can't help it! The more I smile about myself, the more others will see your beautiful shine radiating off from you also. I remember one time last October sitting and talking with one of my friends who'd come into my work, and I remember him just telling me how much happier and just more...excited about life I seemed. And he told me that while he had always thought me to be a beautiful person, he felt that he could truly see the colors coming off of me like never before, as if I exuberated something that I didn't have before. I feel that because of my own self acknowledgement in the fact that I am a beautiful being, and I'm awesome for just being me, that that was simply enough for him to recognize the transformation I'd gone through - and that's a cool feeling to realize when other people can see the beauty that you've always had inside but never known about.

I'm not perfect, and I have so much more to work on, but I do know that I am a beautiful person, with a lot of good things I want to do for the world, and a lot of people that I hope I can inspire throughout my lifespan. I want to give love, receive love, and be love, and before I can achieve that, I have to realize first the beauty inside me, waiting for me to reach out to others to spread around - this world is made with all beautiful souls, jsut waiting to spread the love.

Are you willing to accept yourself for the beautiful "you" that you already are?
I sure hope so :)

xo
Jardin