"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand.  It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.  You rarely win, but sometimes you do."  ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird


Courage is something that I'm learning to lean on a lot right now. Waiting waiting waiting. Just a little longer and I'll be able to figure things out and get on with my life. Until then, I remain courageous.


xo
Jardin

Difficult Roads Lie Ahead:

Sometimes when life hands you lemons (really disgusting, sour, awful lemons), you just gotta make some damn lemonade, even if you might feel like drinking wine. The point of the post of this, regardless of how much shit you might be going through, everything will be okay. And sometimes you just have to play the card you're dealt. For me, that's exactly what I'm dealing with right now.

In future posts I might feel brave enough to really open up as to what's been going on in my life these past few days, but for now, I'll stick to my somewhat "shady" posts. It's not that I don't want to talk about it..but... well, maybe I really don't want to talk about it right now. It's a touchy subject. And I'm waiting for a phone call right now that's going to make me feel anxiety all day until I actually hear my phone ring. Yikes. I hate waiting when it's something that could literally change your life forever.

A week and a half ago, I would have never thought I'd be wearing the shoes I am now. Seriously. Funny how some things can change in an instant. Of course, I could be blowing much of this out of proportion, but honestly I just need to wait for that stupid phone call before I can come to any final conclusions. It's been a rough week though, that's for sure. Lots of tears cried, head held low...it's one of those weeks where I wish I could go invisible. Which of course is nearly impossible because: A) it's the first week back to classes, and I've seen about a million and ten people already, and B) I'm an RA on campus, which means even if I don't want to be happy, I kind of have to. I'm constantly surrounded by my residents, and when all I want to do is crawl myself up into the tiniest hole ever and bury myself, I don't really have that option. It's tough, but I'm somehow trying to get through it in one piece.

I don't have much more to say, but for those who might be going through a difficult time like I am, just know that you WILL be okay. I promise you. It might take time to heal, but in the end, know that you'll be alright. And if whatever happens with me today doesn't quite come out the way I want, I promised myself that within the week I will be getting 1 of these 2 tattoos, or maybe even both:

"We may hurt, but we will heal - there's beauty in our scars."
"God does not take away trials or carry us over them, but strengthens us through them."

Both are reminders to keep my heads up during these difficult moments, because I know I'll be taken care of throughout it all. And trust me, so will you :)

xo
Jardin

Cats in tanks...duh.

What makes for better entertainment than a Catpocalypse type of video? Enjoy lovely people :) Happy Monday! PS. at :35 seconds...best part.

xo

Jardin

Happy First day of School! :)

It's the first day of my last year of college. Senior year...I can't believe it's already come so quickly. It's weird to think that at one point I was scared of coming to Austin, afraid I wouldn't meet any new people and I'd be too shy to try any new activities. Of course all of that wasn't true, and I've come to meet some of the most wonderful people in the world here at St. Edward's, as well as join probably the most social aspect of campus: as an RA working for Residence Life.

St. Edward's has changed my life in more ways than one, and more specifically coming to Austin has changed my life drastically over the past few years. I came to Austin on a completely different wave length, and I'll be leaving with a very different frame of mind. I'm more open to change, diversity, life... more so than I ever was in my earlier high school years. I'm happier, more optimistic, and I actually have somewhat of a plan for my future.

I've come to meet the man of my dreams, and I have my job as an RA to thank for that. I'm thankful everything with that worked out as perfectly as I could have imagined, and it didn't turn into a sticky mess. I'm happier than ever with this boy, and I couldn't have asked for a better relationship:

I don't think there was anything anyone could have told me to truly prepare me for my journey to college. I've had to learn everything through myself, through simply living and experiencing...from old friends to new, past lovers to the the best one yet, I've come to realize that there really are no moments that I can take for granted. These past three (going on 4) years have been the best ones of my life to date, no doubt about it. 

As I walked into my first class this morning, bright and early at 9am, it was strange to think that the classroom I was in was the place where I had my freshman orientation, where I took my freshman studies course, and where I'd be sitting for the entirety of the semester in my International Organizations class this current semester. I hadn't taken a class in Jones Auditorium since my freshman year. Strange. 

I'm ready for this year, and I finally believe that I'm ready for my life as well. These past few years are only the beginning, and the awesomely vast amounts of opportunities out there are just waiting for me to come find them. I'm living this day, this week, this year, this life...to the absolute fullest, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Cheers to your life, make it what you will :)

xo

Jardin

Sweet Dreams! This RA is off to finish folding my laundry and then bed. Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite...

xo
Jardin

Sweet Summer, Gone Already...

So. It's been a while since my last post...about three and a half months to be exact. But, hopefully I'll now have more regular access to a computer and finally start blogging a little bit more. My computer crashed right before the summer (I will NEVER buy a PC again..ughh..4th one in three years! Lame sauce.), which really wasn't super convenient..at all, and so I've been computerless all summer, which also meant no blogging. Tsk tsk.


So, in saying all this, I'm simply going to dedicate this post to a summary of photos from this summer, all memories of good times, my friends, my days spent in the sun, indoors, and everywhere in between. So, to begin with...

 I helped celebrate birthdays.

 I watched the sun disappear into the sea.

I watched my best friend graduate college.

 I met newborn baby goats.

 I had breakfast with friends.

 I drank delicious margaritas. 

 I had drinks with my best friend in Austin.

 I got to dress up like a cow. Moooo.

 I met new friends, new faces.

 I spent the night at the Ritz in Dallas.

I saw my last Harry Potter film ever. 

 I let my hair grow longer.

 I helped my man enjoy a memorable 21st birthday.

 I met new friends, and hung out with old.

 I swam.

 I visited home.

 I met new kitties...

I took too many pictures with my brown bunny.

 

I missed the beach.

I collected many, many shells.

I watched a sunset over a beachhouse.

I enjoyed coffee in Dallas.

I drank the yummiest of Sangria.

I put on makeup and did my hair.

I traveled on a ferry, for the first time in my life.

All of this and more, I did...I know it's a lot, but the photos are all the memories of the past few months. I also celebrated my 6 month anniversary with Chris, and we're still as happy as ever. It feels like February came and gone years ago...it seems like our time together has been endless. I'm more in love and happy with him then I've ever been. I am a lucky girl, because nice guys are hard to find these days it seems. But, 6 (now almost 7) months later, we're as strong and as in love as ever.

This summer has been one of the most enjoyable I've had in a while, and I look forward to the coming months ahead, filled with school, work, and an everyday sense of routine.

Laissez les bon temps roulez...because is there really anything else you can do?

xo

Jardin