Difficult Roads Lie Ahead:

Sometimes when life hands you lemons (really disgusting, sour, awful lemons), you just gotta make some damn lemonade, even if you might feel like drinking wine. The point of the post of this, regardless of how much shit you might be going through, everything will be okay. And sometimes you just have to play the card you're dealt. For me, that's exactly what I'm dealing with right now.

In future posts I might feel brave enough to really open up as to what's been going on in my life these past few days, but for now, I'll stick to my somewhat "shady" posts. It's not that I don't want to talk about it..but... well, maybe I really don't want to talk about it right now. It's a touchy subject. And I'm waiting for a phone call right now that's going to make me feel anxiety all day until I actually hear my phone ring. Yikes. I hate waiting when it's something that could literally change your life forever.

A week and a half ago, I would have never thought I'd be wearing the shoes I am now. Seriously. Funny how some things can change in an instant. Of course, I could be blowing much of this out of proportion, but honestly I just need to wait for that stupid phone call before I can come to any final conclusions. It's been a rough week though, that's for sure. Lots of tears cried, head held low...it's one of those weeks where I wish I could go invisible. Which of course is nearly impossible because: A) it's the first week back to classes, and I've seen about a million and ten people already, and B) I'm an RA on campus, which means even if I don't want to be happy, I kind of have to. I'm constantly surrounded by my residents, and when all I want to do is crawl myself up into the tiniest hole ever and bury myself, I don't really have that option. It's tough, but I'm somehow trying to get through it in one piece.

I don't have much more to say, but for those who might be going through a difficult time like I am, just know that you WILL be okay. I promise you. It might take time to heal, but in the end, know that you'll be alright. And if whatever happens with me today doesn't quite come out the way I want, I promised myself that within the week I will be getting 1 of these 2 tattoos, or maybe even both:

"We may hurt, but we will heal - there's beauty in our scars."
"God does not take away trials or carry us over them, but strengthens us through them."

Both are reminders to keep my heads up during these difficult moments, because I know I'll be taken care of throughout it all. And trust me, so will you :)

xo
Jardin