I just got chills. I want to sing and play like him. I have always, always loved him, and I don't think I'll ever stop. He's given me such a fuel and passion for my own music, that I feel I'll always look to him for musical inspiration. How can I not?

"To be right where you are, how old is your soul?
I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough,
I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up.

And when you're needing your space, to do some navigating,
I'll be here patiently waiting, to see what you find...

Cuz even the stars they burn, some even fall to the earth,
We got a lot to learn, but God knows we're worth it.

No I won't give up...."


...and God knows we're worth it.
I've been through heartache, breakups, tears, and grey skies, but through all of it, I never gave up. I can't ever give up on myself, and you can never give up on yourself either. Love is so much bigger then any one of us can ever understand. Even now in my current relationship there are times where I just have to stop and take a step back and think, "Woah. This love thing isn't always the easiest. I've gotta work at this. But it's worth it. Because love is so big..and amazing..and awesome." Love is so complex, and through a heartbreak or heart make, love never goes away, ever. It's there when you're born, and will be there until you die.

You're worth it.

So, so worth it.

xo
Jardin

Days go by..

I feel that this blog is slowly becoming more of a photo blog, with tidbits here and there about what's been going on in my life. When I last left off, I was trying to vaguely explain how I was going through somewhat of a "rough patch" in my life...while that's quickly blowing over, it's still something that will leave permanent scars in my mind. However, because of everything that's been going on, I might have gotten a more permanent reminder on my skin as well...a tattoo to remind myself that I have the courage an strength within me to continue on in my life as normal. So, in saying that, here's a little new addition to my foot as of last Wednesday...

"God does not take away trials or carry us over them, but strengthens us through them."

 I couldn't be happier with my new addition :) I love it and I think that because of its permanency that I will never forget how to stay strong. I may have my moments, but the tattoo will always be a reminder to me that when I'm looking down, and I see my foot, to keep my head up and my eyes straight ahead, focused on the road ahead of me. Life's too beautiful to look anywhere else than forward :)

xo
Jardin

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand.  It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.  You rarely win, but sometimes you do."  ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird


Courage is something that I'm learning to lean on a lot right now. Waiting waiting waiting. Just a little longer and I'll be able to figure things out and get on with my life. Until then, I remain courageous.


xo
Jardin

Difficult Roads Lie Ahead:

Sometimes when life hands you lemons (really disgusting, sour, awful lemons), you just gotta make some damn lemonade, even if you might feel like drinking wine. The point of the post of this, regardless of how much shit you might be going through, everything will be okay. And sometimes you just have to play the card you're dealt. For me, that's exactly what I'm dealing with right now.

In future posts I might feel brave enough to really open up as to what's been going on in my life these past few days, but for now, I'll stick to my somewhat "shady" posts. It's not that I don't want to talk about it..but... well, maybe I really don't want to talk about it right now. It's a touchy subject. And I'm waiting for a phone call right now that's going to make me feel anxiety all day until I actually hear my phone ring. Yikes. I hate waiting when it's something that could literally change your life forever.

A week and a half ago, I would have never thought I'd be wearing the shoes I am now. Seriously. Funny how some things can change in an instant. Of course, I could be blowing much of this out of proportion, but honestly I just need to wait for that stupid phone call before I can come to any final conclusions. It's been a rough week though, that's for sure. Lots of tears cried, head held low...it's one of those weeks where I wish I could go invisible. Which of course is nearly impossible because: A) it's the first week back to classes, and I've seen about a million and ten people already, and B) I'm an RA on campus, which means even if I don't want to be happy, I kind of have to. I'm constantly surrounded by my residents, and when all I want to do is crawl myself up into the tiniest hole ever and bury myself, I don't really have that option. It's tough, but I'm somehow trying to get through it in one piece.

I don't have much more to say, but for those who might be going through a difficult time like I am, just know that you WILL be okay. I promise you. It might take time to heal, but in the end, know that you'll be alright. And if whatever happens with me today doesn't quite come out the way I want, I promised myself that within the week I will be getting 1 of these 2 tattoos, or maybe even both:

"We may hurt, but we will heal - there's beauty in our scars."
"God does not take away trials or carry us over them, but strengthens us through them."

Both are reminders to keep my heads up during these difficult moments, because I know I'll be taken care of throughout it all. And trust me, so will you :)

xo
Jardin

Cats in tanks...duh.

What makes for better entertainment than a Catpocalypse type of video? Enjoy lovely people :) Happy Monday! PS. at :35 seconds...best part.

xo

Jardin

Happy First day of School! :)

It's the first day of my last year of college. Senior year...I can't believe it's already come so quickly. It's weird to think that at one point I was scared of coming to Austin, afraid I wouldn't meet any new people and I'd be too shy to try any new activities. Of course all of that wasn't true, and I've come to meet some of the most wonderful people in the world here at St. Edward's, as well as join probably the most social aspect of campus: as an RA working for Residence Life.

St. Edward's has changed my life in more ways than one, and more specifically coming to Austin has changed my life drastically over the past few years. I came to Austin on a completely different wave length, and I'll be leaving with a very different frame of mind. I'm more open to change, diversity, life... more so than I ever was in my earlier high school years. I'm happier, more optimistic, and I actually have somewhat of a plan for my future.

I've come to meet the man of my dreams, and I have my job as an RA to thank for that. I'm thankful everything with that worked out as perfectly as I could have imagined, and it didn't turn into a sticky mess. I'm happier than ever with this boy, and I couldn't have asked for a better relationship:

I don't think there was anything anyone could have told me to truly prepare me for my journey to college. I've had to learn everything through myself, through simply living and experiencing...from old friends to new, past lovers to the the best one yet, I've come to realize that there really are no moments that I can take for granted. These past three (going on 4) years have been the best ones of my life to date, no doubt about it. 

As I walked into my first class this morning, bright and early at 9am, it was strange to think that the classroom I was in was the place where I had my freshman orientation, where I took my freshman studies course, and where I'd be sitting for the entirety of the semester in my International Organizations class this current semester. I hadn't taken a class in Jones Auditorium since my freshman year. Strange. 

I'm ready for this year, and I finally believe that I'm ready for my life as well. These past few years are only the beginning, and the awesomely vast amounts of opportunities out there are just waiting for me to come find them. I'm living this day, this week, this year, this life...to the absolute fullest, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Cheers to your life, make it what you will :)

xo

Jardin

Sweet Dreams! This RA is off to finish folding my laundry and then bed. Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite...

xo
Jardin