Just got back from an evening with Lauren, Matt, Leah, Devin, and Isaac. I enjoy these people, I do. We drank hot chocolate over stories from each others breaks, talking about anything and everything. I like these kind of conversations. I don't have to think much. They inspire me to be myself and to talk freely, which is what I did tonight. I told them about everything going on in my life right now - they listened with an open mind and ear, yet definitely still had their own opinions to say about everything.
I can only take anyone else's opinion with a grain of salt, nothing more - I know my friends care about my well being and only want what's best for me, but it's hard when my own heart and head are telling me differently. Sigh. I suppose I should just leave things be for now. I plan on playing some more guitar for the evening, and then going to bed before midnight.
These late night hours..they kill me. Being in this building all alone has been driving me crazy. It's suffocating. Being alone is painful right now, only because my mind wanders down all these twisted, dark roads, and it's hard to pull my thoughts out of a negative place when I bury myself so deep sometimes.
I'm doing my best to simply live, and be happy, but it's hard to do so when the only thing I want most in the world is currently unavailable for me to hold close.
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